It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair to her.
All I can do is reflect.
I’m not getting what I had out of the new relationship.
So I constantly compare.
I think I’m done with it.
Then I’m not.
I guess I just miss having someone to always talk to.
That at least pretends to listen.
And has the ability to do so.
My life man. First world problems.
I hate talking about it because I feel like it’s what conversations always turn to.
I guess that means I haven’t talked about it enough.
I just hate telling the other person because I know they don’t care.
And I know (from being in their shoes) that they think it’s stupid.
That they think that I’m just never going to stop and that I should be over it already.
The truth is I’m not.
It’s hard enough for me to face that let alone tell people that.
When I’m with the girl I’m currently with I forget all these things.
By the end of the night I’m happy.
I guess I’m just a needy bastard.
And I regress to feelings towards my ex when I can’t have it all.
Damn it all! I need someone to always be with me because I’m a wimp.
I guess everything else is a distraction for me.
Besides my studies. That is the one place in which I am truly absorbed.
I guess I should read more.
This is me venting just by the way.
I think it’ll be good to see a friend from high school.
Because she actually listens and will hopefully get me.
God. I hate this. Feeling the need to talk while feeling the need to stop myself.